THE SKY IS BLACK AND BLUE

August 15, 2018 / John Grimmett

1.
the air is heavy
with the inside smell
of an old suitcase,
packing itself
to places
you dare to only dream

2.
repeat and multiply:
tell me time and time again
and, though I try,
I shall not learn
unless
there is an end
an end to trying
an end to understanding
an end to an end
that if you do not love me
it is your choice and not mine
that if I do not love you
I choose it alone
terrified of the brewing
incurable milk of madness
(not insanity
but mad-ness)
and the plunge
of not loving you
of forgiving you
of loving but not you
of forgiving and not you
of the fantasia of being loved
but not by you
while feigning forgiveness
if I forgive

3.
until I forgive

4.
years pass:
like ice into water,
all that remains
is a taste
of mixing moments
and I forget
the cracks
and what came first:
the water, the ice?
The water?
The ice.
The ice.
The ice.

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